NBA lockout: 15 signs the work stoppage is driving you crazy

It's been a painful 41/2 months spending this NBA offseason toiling in statistics that hardly matter to the NBA fan.

Basketball-related income sounded like a foreign language when we had games to discuss. Mid-level exceptions and sign-and-trades felt fun to talk about only when they involved free agency. And let's not get started about competitive balance. Since when did the NBA hate when the Lakers and Celtics dominated?

Some basketball fans have taken it better than others. Below are 15 signs that show this work stoppage has pushed you off the deep end.

1. You know more about the NBA lockout proceedings than the players.

2. You drive by Staples Center every day hoping the Lakers or Clippers organize an informal game.

3. When you watch your child's intramural team, the Lakers, you forget they're not the real ones.

4. You've played a full 2011-2012 season on NBA2K12 at least three times. Of course, you made sure the Lakers won.

5. You relish the days after the Lakers lost to the Dallas Mavericks in the 2011 playoffs because at least there were things to talk about and follow.

6. Players union Vice President Roger Mason Jr. famously tweeted to a friend, "Looking like a season. How u." Now you use "how u" in everyday conversation.

7. You suddenly care about such important issues as Kim Kardashian's pseudo marriage or whether Matt Barnes is really dating Eva Longoria.

8. You've watched "Teen Wolf," "The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh" and "Space Jam" on NBATV at least 10 times each.

9. You've written letters to Santa Claus asking for an NBA season.

10. You memorize the soundbites David Stern, Adam Silver, Billy Hunter and Derek Fisher provide even before the news conference.

11. You're wearing George Costanza's Gore-Tex coat to prepare for "nuclear winter."

12. You've started a fundraiser to close the financial gap between the players union and owners.

13. You've become a D-Fenders season-ticket holder.

14. You've bought timeshares in every country around the world, just in case Kobe Bryant hosts a barnstorming tour.

15. You believe Hunter's ridiculous argument that the players could start their own league. It would've happened as soon as the lockout started if it were feasible.